


The Proper Fate of Fruit

by Alienne



Series: The Proper Fate of Fruit [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dragons, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2013-10-24
Packaged: 2017-12-30 09:28:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1016965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alienne/pseuds/Alienne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is meant as the first part in the series of oneshots and drabbles. It is thus something of an introduction. But beware, me being me, it is fully possible that there will never be a continuation... Warning number two: no beta. I am accepting corrections :)</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Proper Fate of Fruit

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant as the first part in the series of oneshots and drabbles. It is thus something of an introduction. But beware, me being me, it is fully possible that there will never be a continuation... Warning number two: no beta. I am accepting corrections :)

Tony was gaping. He was aware that he was gaping, and still he couldn't stop himself.

It was quite an apropriate reaction in this situation, he thought. Together they covered almost the whole spectrum, what with Natasha looking smug - though to Tony all dragons tended to look naturally smug, as if they knew something he did not, which was just, not possible - Pepper amused, Captain torn between embarassed and congratulatory, and Clint... Well, Clint was looking well-shagged.

That was about the moment Tony's brain decided to turn back on, and so he slowly closed his mouth, then his eyes, and shook his head despondently.

"Clint?! Out of the whole human race," he made a considering pause, "and practically any other even vaguely semi-sentient species on the planet, and you chose Clint?!"

There might have appeared a warning glint in Natasha's eyes, and a similar one in Pepper's, but as he usually did, he ignored them. The potential for teasing was literally endless here; it would be a terrible shame to lose such an opportunity.

All signs pointed to this being the morning after Natasha's and Clint's bonding, and dragons - even firedrakes, the most temperamental of the dragon species - tended to be in a very calm and content mood right about now, from all he had read on the subject. Tony was sure that whatever magic was involved in bonding, the night spent fucking each other's brains out had a big helping hand in that.

There was a flash of something on Clint's face - huh, had that been embarassment? his subconsciousness decided to catalogue it as embarassment, with a note to carefully examine it later - and Natasha bristled a little, but he didnt let anybody interrupt him as he continued:  
"I guess there is some appeal in training yourself your own mate, though I am still not sure it is possible to teach Clint anything new and exciting - like manners, for example - but I fear you will have to make him join the knights morning exercise routine for a while before you will be able to fly him anywhere. He grew a little pudgy in the last months. Seriously, did you notice the paunch?"

„Go fuck yourself, Stark.“ Clint was nothing if not predictable as he aimed a rude gesture Tony's way.

„No, thank you, I have no problems finding company for that,“ Tony leered, also predictably. This was an old and often played game between the two of them and it tended to escalate, allowing them to exchange increasingly creative insults – this was just a start, it didn't count – while at the same time making their good Captain looking in turn disgusted, embarrassed, horrified and in profuse pain. Consequently it was only ever played in his presence, but what he didn't know couldn't hurt them.

And now it was annoyance on the other's faces, all except Pepper, who still looked amused. Good, old, faithful Pepper, who knew him best. Who knew that even being woken at an hour considered ungodly by most by an idea that sparkled another idea and made him get out of the bed and go to his lab - only he never got there, because the bed he slept in last night hadn't been his and so he had to go through the dining hall, where he met Pepper and the Captain in the middle of a relaxed breakfast together, when a firedrake and a sleepy-looking Clint walked through the door – he would not pass an opportunity to needle any of them, if they allowed themselves to be needled.

Curiously, it wasn't so much a discovery that one of - OK, another one of- his collegues was a dragon that had made him gape, not when that collegue was Natasha. No, it was the fact that she had the same - hungry, predatory and hey, that made sense - eyes as when she wore her human shape. That shouldn't happen, should it? Dragons transformed completely, they were masters of disguise. So, dragon with human eyes. Or, human with dragon ones, he supposed. Weird. Was she also some kind of mutant, like Bruce?

Anyway, this explained SO MANY things. One of them being just why there always seemed to be so much teeth in whatever smile she gave him. As right now. And they all looked extremely sharp. Tony decided that keeping his mouth shut might, after all, not be such a bad idea.

Clint noticed, of course, and he sprawled over his chair, with Natasha keeping close by, and smirked at Tony. Tony opened his mouth to respond in kind.

Then Natasha reached out and gently took a piece of bacon from the table. With her teeth, and all the time looking at him. Still, it was extremely difficult to stop Tony when he was like this, in a good mood, buzzing with new ideas, and the shock had already passed. The lab was singing it's siren song, and it wasn't like he wouldn't be given all the details later, when he decided to join the humanity once again, either by one of his occasional teammates, or by Coulson. Coulson was a terrible gossip. Or at least he could usually be persuaded to spill any non vital secrets by Tony promising to do this and that for the general or one of his lackeys. And it was always interesting to know what Coulson considered non vital. And then there was also JARVIS, who was doubtlessly floating somewhere around and would be able to reproduce all the details of the situation anytime Tony asked. So really, no need to stop here. He carefully snatched an orange from the table, skillfully avoiding the swipe Pepper made for him, then also stole a piece of bacon from the plate next to the Captain. The bacon he stuffed into his mouth as he started making his way to the door. Aware of the eyes on him he tossed the orange into the air and caught it swiftly. The fruit was going to have a bright, if short, future as a test subject for his newest experiment. Fruit was useful that way.

Turning around and walking backwards he leered at Natasha and Pepper. Time for the parting shot.

"You both look a little tense. Nice morning like this, you shouldn't look so tense, it's a waste. Want me to relax you?"

The apple lobbed at his head by Clint he expected and dodged. The interrupted reach for Pepper's hand before the Captain had time to check himself in was... surprising. Pepper and the Cap? Tony felt a pang in his chest. He and Pepper might be better friends than lovers, but. He forced another smile and a little wave in the direction of the table. He would think about all this later. Or never, whatever.

"My offer stands. Think about it. Nice day, people. See you later." He winked, then started to turn away, already switching his attention to the calculations necessary for the changes he planned to make to the almost-done bracelet.

That was, of course, the moment he tripped over the apple Clint just threw at him, not noticing that it bounced from the wall and rolled right under his feet. A quick swipe at the wall stopped his momentum and helped him regain his balance, but the creative cursing that commenced, together with the whole acrobatic half-jump, made the occupants of the dining hall chuckle in amusement. Wankers.


End file.
